Can you learn how to be truly happy? If so, what are simple ways to find lasting happiness?

By understanding the science of happiness and applying the findings, more people can learn how to be happy and enjoy greater life satisfaction. But, finding lasting happiness is not just about feeling good or feeling positive emotions for the sake of pleasure.

Happiness and other positive emotions may have a powerful influence on our health. They can make your immune system function better, provide a protective effect against some diseases and even help you live longer.

Happiness and related mental states, such as, hopefulness, optimism and contentment appear to decrease the risk or limit the severity of diabetes, hypertension, cardiovascular and pulmonary diseases as well as colds and upper-respiratory infections.

The good news is that your level of happiness can be changed widely  —  up or down  —  based on findings from research studies on happiness and other related positive mental states.

So, no matter what your level of happiness is at this time  —  whether you’re very unhappy or less happy than you would like  —  you can learn to be truly happy and get the best out of life.

According to Seligman, author of “Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment,” the best strategy for increasing your level of happiness involves working on the three components of happiness:

·        Pleasure  —  You can savor more sensory experiences and get more pleasure out of life.

·        Engagement  —  You can become more engaged in what you do. You can increase the depth of your involvement with your family, friends and other relationships as well as your hobbies, work and play.

·        Meaning  —  You can find a sense of purpose in your life. You can find ways to make your life more meaningful.

NOTE: If you’re often sad or depressed, you may have clinical depression which requires medical attention. If you have clinical depression, the extreme opposite of happiness, this causes important changes in your brain chemistry. Getting help from your physician or mental health professional  —  for example, by getting medication or therapy  —  can relieve some of your symptoms and help you feel better. Your physician or therapist can also give you some guidance on finding happiness after your clinical depression is managed.

If you’re not as happy as you would like and you want to learn how to be truly happy, these are simple ways to find lasting happiness:

·        Simplify your life. Less is more. If you have too much stuff to do  —  if you’re always too busy with work or if your day is over-loaded with too may activities  —  there is too little time for you to enjoy what you’re doing. Instead, you’re probably too stressed out to even notice things that can make you happy.

o       If your work keeps you very busy, try managing your time a lot better. If you just have too much to do, figure out which tasks are not absolutely necessary for you to do and stop doing them. You may have to limit your assignments or even decrease your hours.  

o       If your school work keeps you too busy, you may have to decrease the number of classes you’re taking. Of course, you can try managing your time a lot better.

o       If you are disorganized, you may be wasting a lot of time. Learn to be more organized.

o       If your day is filled with too may activities, figure out the most important activities that need to be done and just focus on doing those things.

o       Get help from you family and friends, if possible. You can also consider hiring some people to help you with some tasks.

·        Learn to appreciate the good things in your life. Open your eyes. Open your heart.   Learn to appreciate what you already have in your life. Appreciation can only come from paying attention. If you’re too busy, it makes it harder to notice the good things you already have in your life.

·        Express gratitude at least once a week or as often as possible. Studies have shown that people who take the time to “count their blessings” once a week significantly improved their satisfaction with life. People who express gratitude on a regular basis have better physical health and well-being.

·        Make a difference in someone’s life or perform random acts of kindness. You can help your family, a friend in need or even a stranger. You can do volunteer work in your community or you can volunteer online. You can call, email or visit your grandparents. Performing acts of altruism or kindness, makes you feel good about yourself. This can make you feel more connected to other people and can put more meaning in your life.

·        Accept yourself and your emotions. No matter how happy you are, you are going to be sad, anxious or lonely sometimes. If you try to be happy all the time  —  and you reject yourself or feel guilty if you’re not happy or being positive  — you are actually going to make yourself very unhappy.

·        Try to avoid using too many shoulds, oughts, musts and have tos because they can make your life miserable. Instead, replace them with more rational thinking based on preferences, acceptance and tolerance. Change “I must,” “I should,” “I ought to” or “I have to” into “I wish,” “I prefer” or “I can tolerate.”

·        When you’re feeling down, do something to lift your spirits. Do something special for yourself or pamper yourself. Simple activities, such as, shopping and enjoying a good meal, can make some people happy. Although studies have shown that they do not lead to long-term fulfillment, they can provide some pleasure and distraction.

·        If you lost a friend or a relationship has ended, try talking to your family and friends or doing an activity that can help you deal with your loss. Use a coping strategy that has worked well for you in the past. Keep in mind that your feeling of sadness will probably not last. Studies have shown that people typically overestimate how long they will be sad after a bad event, such as a romantic breakup. People who have had a loss recover over time.

·        Wealth does not contribute a great deal to your happiness. Once your basic needs are met, particularly when income is above the poverty level, additional income does NOT raise your sense of life satisfaction.

·        Your happiness depends on your state of mind. Whatever you focus on will become magnified. If you focus on the negative things  —  whatever your life is lacking and whatever you’ve failed to do  —  you can significantly decrease your sense of life satisfaction. So, try to focus on the positive things in your life  —  whatever you have and whatever you’ve already accomplished  —  and you can increase your contentment and sense of satisfaction in life.

·        Your interpretation of events can affect your happiness. If you fail to achieve your goal, do you see it as a minor setback and a learning opportunity? Or do you see it as a catastrophic failure from which you will never be able to recover? Try to have a more realistic interpretation of events in your life.

·        Accept yourself and all your imperfections. People who are happy with themselves have problems and imperfections just like you. So, don’t bother comparing yourself to other people. Accepting yourself just the way you are can give you a more positive self-esteem and greater happiness.

·        Develop a stronger relationship with your family and friends. If you have serious problems with your family  —  involving sexual, physical or emotional abuse  —  you can deal with the problems to create some resolution. If it’s not possible to resolve your problems with your family, you can develop a family-like relationship with your close friends.

·        Having meaningful and enjoyable work  —  whether it is paid or unpaid activity  —  contributes to life satisfaction. Being fully engaged in this activity can be so gratifying that some people are willing to do it for it’s own sake instead of what they will get out of it. The activity is it’s own reward. If your job does not give you enough satisfaction, doing some volunteer work might give your life more meaning and sense of purpose. This can create greater happiness.

·        Find a hobby or an activity that you can be passionate about. Art, music, dance, writing, travel, sports or related activities can keep you fully engaged and create happiness.

In addition to having more fun and getting more pleasure out of life, you can focus on improving the components of happiness that can provide the biggest and most lasting payoff – engagement and meaning.

The most fundamental finding from studies on the psychology of happiness is that being with other people makes people happy. The “need to belong” is important in life satisfaction. So, it’s important to work on improving your social skills in order to build closer connections with others and social support. In turn, this can lead to greater happiness and satisfaction in life.

To your happiness…

Allie